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Based at King Steet Therapy Rooms in West Malling (6 miles from Maidstone), Kent, I can be contacted by email on kim@fernberry.co.uk or by phone on 07788 767 966.

How reacting more intuitively can empower you

Saturday 12th May 2012

Have you ever been in a situation whereby you have felt completely flummoxed, overpowered almost; a deep sense afterwards that you could perhaps have reacted differently and achieved a more rewarding outcome. If we are honest, this is something that we have probably all felt on different occasions, but there is a way of bringing about a change, a way of enabling you to react in a more beneficial manner, empowering you to succeed in achieving greater fulfilment. And it is also something that you are capable of doing right now. It’s about reacting more intuitively and instinctively to any given situation and the ability to do this is greatly enhanced when you are able to live your life more mindfully.

When we are disconnected with the moment, we cloud what is actually happening by bringing in our experiences of a past similar event; we do this in an attempt to make sense of what is occurring by overgeneralising the experience based on our past experiences of something similar. However, if we continue to react in this manner, we close down our ability to experience this actual event as it is happening in this moment, and thereby cease our ability to react differently and perhaps in a more beneficial way. We have essentially lost the moment, lost the chance of welcoming a new perspective and a new approach to a difficult situation.

By developing greater awareness of the present moment, you develop the ability to bring your attention to the reality of the situation, along with awareness of your arising thoughts, emotions and hesitancies with that particular situation. With continued practice of moment to moment awareness and how you are experiencing it, you develop the ability to connect with what is really happening in that moment as opposed to all your historical emotional connections with the event. By connecting with the moment and your arising emotions and thoughts, you will begin to develop a stronger reliance and belief that you can trust your instincts and react more intuitively with the situation. This process is a truly freeing experience, enabling you to feel, to sense and react completely with the current situation and its actual difficulties and possibilities, as opposed to your pre-imposed emotions and thoughts experienced from previous similar events.

If you are interested in experiencing how the ability to react more intuitively and instinctively can free you and your true potential, enabling you to truly feel alive to life and all it has to offer, then please contact me to discuss arranging a consultation.

Fear and Attachment

Monday 30th April 2012

Attachment is something we’ve probably all experienced at some point and can come in many interesting guises, but many of us will fail to recognise it and even more so the destructive force created by the fear and anxiety experienced in the creation of our attachment. Attachments can be formed to people, food, particular ambitions and anything actually, whereby we experience overwhelming desire to achieve a specific outcome with regards to our given attachment. However, attachment is akin to a delusion, as we bestow a high degree of mystique and value to the object of our attachment in the hope that by obtaining it, or indeed keeping it, we will alter our lives beyond belief.

The problem with it is that we often confuse attachment with love or need or a particular goal, when in fact attachment is an illusion created in our mind around the object of our love, need or aim, resulting in a disproportionate placement of value on how our lives can be improved through the attainment or possession of our attachment.

So how do we recognise attachment? Well, this is where mindfulness and the ability to welcome and face our greatest fears become helpful tools. When we are mindful, we are aware in a very truthful and non-judgemental sense to the thoughts and emotions we are experiencing. This means that while we are able to perceive we are desirous of a particular thing, person or outcome, we are also able to observe that this particular desire is creating a high degree of expectation, need and ultimately fear and anxiety that we will not achieve or maintain possession of our specific coveted attachment. If we can be truthful with ourselves with regard to our arising attachments, we can make the decision to perceive what will happen when we allow ourselves to experience the outcome of no longer striving to cling to our attachment. By doing this we allow ourselves to enter back into reality where we are better placed to understand that attainment or possession of our attachment will not give us the extraordinary love, wealth or prestige we crave and that previous steps, thoughts and energies placed into obtaining and retaining our attachment can be released, thereby releasing the destructive force of fear and anxiety behind our attachment.

In coming to observe our arising attachments, we also begin to understand that they are delusions of our egoistic mind and we free ourselves from them by applying their opponent. For example, if the emotion you are experiencing is anger, its opposing force is tranquillity and patience; for possessiveness, it’s generosity; for envy, it’s goodwill; and the list goes on! The more you are able to observe and non-judgementally acknowledge your attachments, and apply their opposing forces, the easier it becomes for you to free yourself from the fear and anxiety created in the self-absorbed mind which is essentially the source of all attachments.